Sunday, December 2, 2012

Beware Villains and Varlets

Especially varlets. The rigors of rudimentary upbringing inculcate in most of us a healthy caution against villains, or the kind of uncouth, dangerous adversaries who mean us harm and will not hesitate to incapacitate or kill for no ostensible provocation. Result? Those of us who survive into a relatively successful adulthood learn to spot villains and to avoid them. At least we don't seek them out. When was the last time you ambled drunk into a biker bar and chose that moment to hold forth that, unlike vacuum cleaners, motorcycles position the dirt bag on top of the machine rather than underneath it? If you are reasonably sane and unbedeviled by a death wish, the answer should be never.

Now, villains always pose a danger. For the most part, however, the danger is manageable. We can see it coming and can therefore avoid it. Not so with varlets.

Varlets are the lesser scoundrels raging through every sphere of life like a pestilence. They seldom present the kind of cutthroat, terror-inducing danger reserved for villains. Indeed, varlets tend to appear innocuous or so anemic as to be comical. Does this make them less dangerous? Perhaps or at least initially it does. But there is more to this encounter.

If a varlet may indeed both seem and actually be, to all appearances, harmless, this means that the varlet is all but certain to have an easier time penetrating our defenses. He or she may ingratiate, fawn, amuse, or just weasel into our circle of trust. Often the varlet operates best just outside this circle of trust, making occasional thrusts inward when defenses are down or incentives are up. The varlet achieves by guile what the villain attains by force: personal advantage at your expense. He may even look as cuddly and lovable as a panda that ends up eating all your bamboo (see photo above).

As holidays approach and seasonal celebrations amplify bonhomie, beware the villains and varlets, especially the varlets. This is their high season, and your lowered guard is their invitation to strike. Purloined presents, burgled homes, vanishing company assets, and even more harmful attacks during periods of minimal staffing and maximal distraction are their stock in trade. Leave these varlets unchecked, and soon their impact will be indistinguishable from that of true villains.

Happy holidays.

-- Nick Catrantzos